Soul Mate Attraction

Soul Mate Attraction is one of our specialties. We KNOW it’s possible to successfully find that one person, make it work and prosper.  We have helped many people find someone for the lasting relationship.

Check out SoulmateAttraction.net for more information

Not only must we become truly willing, we must let go of some of the notions we have,  let go of our wrong ideas, learn new distinctions, be clear about our purpose, accept help. and allow our desire to express itself to the universe.

Here is Margo’s story. May it inspire you.

Margo’s  Soulmate Attraction Story

At age 25 I faced a forced retirement. I had burned through men, clothes, clubs and lots of fast living. Life wasn’t working and I was sick. Really sick.

I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.  The next four years of my life were dedicated to recovering from the debilitating symptoms of the virus. This became my “monastic” phase of life. One thing I got clear about was that I did not want God to send me a “soulmate” candidate until I was mature enough to wisely care for such a relationship, and awake enough to notice a great man when he stood in front of me. This did not happen overnight.

I had experienced plenty of drama and heartache in dysfunctional relationships trying to get men, who had little to offer, to nourish and cherish me. I also frequently walked away from great men who eventually seemed “boring”.  Boy, was I naïve. And by now, thankfully, somewhat humble.

Instead of falling for the next guy I stuck to my plan.  My monastic “recovery oriented” life came after the somewhat breathless pace of starting my own design business in college, living in Europe and attending graduate school in Manhattan.

In my new quieter life, in a sleepy little village in Northwestern Connecticut, I discovered the beauty of rural life and its many rituals.  On a daily basis, a dog and cat were my closest friends.  As my body was healing from years of pushing too hard, so were my emotions and soul life.  I was learning to become deeply comfortable with my own company and cultivate a more personally responsible sense of maturity.

During this time, I was given an audiotape by a friend that said, “Letter to God” on the case.  The tape was all about how to create a written request letter to God and the Universe to attract a harmonious soulmate into one’s life.  After a year or more, I was almost ready to want a soul mate, so I worked on the letter over several weeks. Adding and subtracting characteristics of my future soulmate from time to time.

About this time, I had begun to have some notable improvement with my health.  I was 29, and it was February 14th of 1991 that I finished the letter. I had made my declaration to the Universe. “This Valentines’ Day I would be happy that I was ready to receive a wonderful soulmate into my life.”   I attended two parties the weekend after I had finished my letter. Actually these were the only two parties I had gone to in 4 years!  The second one was a Chinese New Year’s party, and a lively spirit pervaded the event. Over the course of the evening I had a couple of conversations with a tall botanist named, Lawrence.

I did not sense that this kind, yet tall, dark and handsome man would be my soulmate. Actually, I thought to the contrary. I had heard about the Lawrence who gave wild parties at this house where the hip-about-town would gather. He told me he was in the process of starting a nightclub, selling macrobiotic pickles to the local health food store, as well as creating a series of erotic T-shirts from Japanese shunga prints.  No longer my style!

At some point in our conversation, he mentioned that he had gone to Harvard and studied ethnobotany. This intrigued me. I had always had a fantasy of studying indigenous cultures and their ways…and botany was my field of interest in the illustration work I did. But the rest of it, ugh!  I went to bed early and had had my fill of playboys and club scenes.

We eventually had lunch at a Chinese restaurant.  I was explaining to him my theory about men. “There were the A-men who were ambitious and cultured and gave you crumbs, treating you badly, and then there were the B-men who were kind and had a lot to offer, which I ultimately bored of and left.”  His response turned my theory upside down, “What if there is a C-man?” meaning a man who was both smart and interesting as well as kind and generous of spirit. Was he suggesting that he was this kind of man?

I was a little intrigued.  Lawrence had introduced the idea that there could be an interesting man who was also caring and conscious.  In our conversations, I learned more about his stability and his nurturing nature.  I asked God to help me release my judgments about this new man and I soon began to see him in a new light.  Our next meeting was a walk at a nearby Audubon Sanctuary, followed by dinner at an Indian restaurant. We now refer to this evening as our “first date”.  Our mutual love of nature was soon apparent, and our friendship began to blossom.

I had begun to check my list of criteria for a soulmate. Was this fellow a potential candidate? Well, of the 35 or so items on my list he was a match, actually, for all but three.  The non-matches were that he was:

1. Too tall, he was 6’5”
2. He was not a skier-Okay, I could live with that, I wasn’t such a big skier anyway.
3. He was not currently immersed in a career that was satisfying

The first two were negotiable. Not deal breakers, but the career question was worth exploring further.

I can remember coming to dinner at his beautiful Berkshire home.  He had prepared me this sumptuous vegetarian feast, complete with apple crisp for dessert. Once I knew Lawrence for a little while, I soon realized he was the Jewish grandmother I had always wanted. Very nurturing in so many ways.  Then I saw him interact with his two beautiful red and white fluffy cats. I was moved and intimidated all at once. He was so tender with them. I had never witnessed that kind of tenderness in my life ever before…. in my family or among friends. I was peering into a secret of life that I desperately wanted to know more about. The concept of receiving and being cherished and cherishing others.  Love instead of something else.

My questions were pointed with Lawrence, as were his.  At some point during that dinner Lawrence said to me,  “so are you interested in a casual relationship?”  My reply was clear, “No I am looking to meet the man I want to marry.” Now, I was not thinking it was likely to be him. There still were all of these unsavory myths about him, which I did not like. Yet his goodness chipped away at my critical mind.

I have often wondered about what would have happened if I had not been specific about my goal of meeting my soulmate at that early juncture. Had I stated, “Sure, I wanted a casual relationship”, would our relationship have progressed differently? Would we have not been so wise in each interaction in regard to building trust and honoring each other’s boundaries? Would it have failed before it even got started?

Yet his career was till a question. So when he told me he had recently heard from Harvard University and would soon be required to complete his masters thesis or loose the opportunity to complete it-I saw a window of opportunity for “helping” this man to find a better path. Yet, I resisted.  I had participated into many codependent relationships where I would try to help the man with little to offer to become more stable so that he could eventually give something to me.  I decided to tread lightly with Lawrence and his future career.  And interestingly, over time he chose to complete his thesis and from that process was inspired to found a non-profit organization that would become his inspired livelihood for 13 years, a career that was satisfying.

We were engaged within the first 18 months of meeting, and married a year later.    We attended a relationship workshop together 2 months after we began dating. We both know that we wanted this to be different from other relationships that had failed to thrive. With many shared interests and many distinct differences we had to learn be committed to a common vision of our relationship.

We have been married for 16 years now, with two wonderful sons who are 7 and 10. Aside from integrity, and good will we have had to learn how to keep our sights on staying inside the box of love and appreciation, re-committing daily to return there when either of us drift into other states.  As life coaches with a commitment to supporting individuals and couples in creating nourishing relationships, we are humbled daily watching our marriage serve as the workshop for personal and professional development.

Some key lessons I learned from this process:

1. Humbly, commit your criteria for a soulmate to paper.
2. Look at places in your life where you can dump your own baggage, or non-skillful habits and behaviors.  Whichever character traits you wish your future soulmate to possess, you must also cultivate in yourself.
3. Learn to love yourself and receive.
4. Practice loving kindness with pets, friends, colleagues etc…
5. Create a field of generosity in your life.
6. Practice forgiveness for any former relationships that may be impinging your success in being free to cherish and be cherished.
7. Be patient and thank the Universe in advance for delivering your soulmate to you.
8. Practice humility and curiosity. We don’t have to be right all of the time. Just curious.
9. Work with a coach if you can who can gently support you to confront your old patterns/beliefs about love that no longer serve you.

For more information about the Soulmate Attraction Process or to become part of our Soulmate Attraction Classes you can email us, give us a call or click here.